Today, I had to play mommy. My daughter had an emergency at school, and I had to cancel appointments, reschedule, reassign, and run 30 mins out of my way to pick her up. My very busy day became a patch work of mini-sessions and doctors appointments.
My daughter is a senior in high school, and sometimes, I forget that she is still just a child. She looks so much like an adult…so much like me…it’s scary. I want so much for her. I want her to grow. I want her to travel, learn, explore, and just take her time. Mostly, I want her to avoid making my mistakes. The problem is, though, that isn’t how it works.
Once upon a time…seemingly a million years ago, I was also a senior in high school with absolutely no plan for the future but a vague notion that “someday” I would go to college. With my lack of focus, I married in my senior year, moved with my husband to CA, and had my first child at 20. I want better for her!
I don’t have the answers. At this point, I am a tired, middle-aged, out of shape, mildly drunken woman. I work hard, and I try to enjoy what is left of my youth. It is hell looking at the absolutely gorgeous clone of yourself, and knowing how freaking easy it is to waste your beauty and youth on some child who is so not worth it. What I wouldn’t give to have a do-over…except you can’t…
We never listen, do we? I hope she doesn’t follow my path!
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